What is the “Slut Era”?
What is a Slut?
The first time I heard the word slut, I was a tween and it was being used in an offensive way to hurt a girls feelings. I wish that it was a rare enough thing to remember exactly why and how, but the truth is that “slut” became a common term and was frequently thrown around in the places I grew up. I was a slut, I called people sluts, everyone was a slut at some point or another. I remember the boys being revered for their slutiness and the girls being shamed for it.
If you are online at all, I would bet you’ve seen “slut era” being thrown around with as much ease as it was back then, although it’s taken on a more empowered term now. To be a slut is to be in deep yearning for something; to find unabashed pleasure in it. Somehow, we’ve taken this term that was used to shame and diminish the liberation (specifically sexual liberation) people were allowing themselves to experience and turned it on its head. I would say this is akin to a glow-up, but for a term.
Honestly, I love this energy. I love taking something that was shitty and reclaiming it. I love the notion that we can really make and do what we want with language; that we have the power and opportunity to reclaim this within ourselves, our circles, and broadening out into communities so it may touch society. The tone has changed, “you’re a slut” as a degradation had turned into “you little slut!” as a celebration.
This reminds me a lot of the word fiend, which if you know me well I became rather obsessed with and actually named an entire chapter of my life after. Fiend used to mean someone that was deeply devoted to something, and as it went through time it got twisted to meaning some that was addicted to something. We didn’t have access to the same psychological profiling/understanding/study that we do now when these terms were coined, but it’s easy to see where the restriction to addiction pipeline is and how we moved from devotion to addiction. Even devotion was rooted in a relationship with consecration which means to “make or declare (something, typically a church) sacred; dedicate formally to a religious or divine purpose.” Devotion became a form of addiction when it wasn’t something that was church approved - and of course our modern day society is still heavily ruled and influenced by the values of the church. So to be a slut, to be a fiend for something that deviates from what is allowed, of course was something that was demonized. How dare we yearn! How dare we enjoy that which literally made man.
We have a lot more conversation and understanding about the sacred nature of our sexuality now though, and with that comes the understanding that it isn’t impure or devilish to have a devotional relationship or even just simply a longing to be in connection to people. In short, it’s becoming more okay to understand that sometimes we just want to fuck and there is nothing about that that requires a label and nor is it something to slander someone with. I think it would be more of an insult now to call someone a prude - which has its own hash of fuckery and bullshit associated with it but that’s another topic for another day.
So, we know that things get twisted around. There is nothing new there, and we also know that by understanding the history or legacy of something we can better understand how to use it to our advantage. The Slut Era is exactly this - it is taking something that was used to harm, breaking it down to its raw pieces, and building it back up to be something constructive. We use what it was created for against itself.
The Raw Pieces of “A Slut”:
desire
acting on that desire
finding pleasure in the act
said desire & pleasure being contrary to the values of the church
those values being used mostly to control women
labelling the women that are perceived as uncontrollable, and therefor a threat
reversing the threat onto the women
Reclaiming Slut (& Pleasure)
To be a slut for something is to be liberated in your desire for it. While this held a sexual context when it was created (and for literally centuries after) we can deconstruct that. To desire something is to recognize there is pleasure in something, to yearn for something pleasurable is to allow ourselves to seek pleasure, to seek pleasure is to see ourselves as worthy of pleasure. Where there used to be guilt and shame imbued upon where we sought pleasure, there seems to now be a reclamation of it.
Why the reclamation? Well, first of all the world is really fucking bananas. The cozzy livs crisis (aka the cost of living crisis), the dying planet, wealth hoarding, there are still legit whole ass wars happening (cue that video of the tiktok girlie saying “but isn’t killing people like… illegal??”), we’re addicted to devices and apps that were literally designed to be addictive so we can buy things to put more money into billionaire pockets even though most of us don’t even make enough money to buy the said things, mental health crisis’ are at an all time high with the cost of services sky rocketing…. I could go on but you know it because if you are here reading it you literally are living it in real time. SO WE NEED SOME THINGS! We need some things. We need some things. And slut is one of them. I stan a reclamation in general but specifically one that allows those that have been under-represented, abused, misinterpreted, taken advantage of etc etc etc to have something. We really said “mmmm actually yeah I am a slut, what of it?”. Second of all, pleasure is innate to human existence and something we literally need to keep us alive. We produce dopamine when we poop - that is how we are built, baby. Pleasure is biologically designed to keep us doing the things we need to do.
Who Can Be A Slut?
Literally anyone. I think part of reclamation as a whole is about removing boundaries and diversifying. I really don’t have much to say on this other than if you find pleasure in things and you want to be in your power alongside that pleasure then you are a slut. Young, old, any or no gender, every race and body size - anyone and everyone can be a slut.
The Slut Era
Okay, so, we know that slut was created as a derogatory term specifically for women who found pleasure in sexual activity, we know that pleasure is an innate part of the human condition and how we continue to survive in abysmal conditions, and we know that “slut era” is a reclamation of pleasure in general. The pipeline here isn’t about sexuality at all though. Before a slut was something that you embodied. It was a label, a way of being. In the Slut Era, it is a concept for removing shame from that which we enjoy to maximize our pleasure within it. To be a slut for is an actionable thing. It is a way of engaging with something, specifically about engaging with liberation. Of course this can still be sexual but lets broaden the scope a bit - the true context is for anyone who allows themselves to enjoy what they desire without shame or hinderances based on perception.
You can be a slut for time alone, for a good glass of wine, for a particular song, for a way of dressing or spending time with certain people: the “being” of a slut if for something - not inherently a way of being for ourselves but a way of being that is in relation to the things around us. So, with slut, as we looked at, there is an implication that there is a reclamation of the things one enjoys, which in turn begs the question of was shame present there previously? A great example would be someone whose “guilty pleasure” is reality TV and reclaiming this to be “a slut for reality TV”. One (the guilty pleasure) indicates that the recognition and interaction that what brings us pleasure induces shame, guilt, or negative associations even though there is inherently pleasure in it and that pleasure is the objective of it. So then not only do we feel bad about what makes us feel good, but we also lose energy to protecting ourselves from scrutiny in what feels good. On the other side, to be a slut for something is to recognize and embrace that there is pleasure in something. By reclaiming what being a slut is, by making it an era, by allowing what we love to be an iconic chapter of our lives (or perhaps even undercurrent because this really doesn’t need to have a completion point like a chapter insintuates) we recognize our ability to claim and recall what is ours. Because our pleasure doesn’t belong to or get to be dictated by someone else. Because our bodies and our lives are homes for the multitude of things that allow us to endure the hellscape of reality and romanticize our lives a little bit. At its humble core the Slut Era is about finding safety and acceptance in what brings joy to ones being.
For me, there is a link from the Slut Era to what I’ve deemed to be the Untouchable Era which you can find in the “What Is The Untouchable Era?” post. At it’s core, this is where we take the reclamation and allow it to live in places within us that are untainted by the opinions of others.
How To Enter Your Slut Era
Phase 1 - Recognizing
Analyzing this is all fine and well, but you might be thinking “Well, Forest, I am still feeling shame/judgement/embarrassment/whatever else about what I like. How do I shift that?” which is a very reasonable thought, and why I am writing this think-piece/essay/article/whatever you want to call it.
Let’s make some lists. The first list, put all of the things you feel ashamed or insecure of - it doesn’t matter if you find pleasure in it or not, we’re just going to get it all out there. This list can include literally anything - I’ll do it with you, okay?
back acne
my long nose hairs
the scratch on the side of my car
watching movies and TV shows - specifically romcoms - that are 100% made for teenagers
hyperfixating on an outfit and wearing it almost exclusively for a week
how much I love hot dogs
how much I love mayonaisse
when I cackle laugh in a classy place
when a new person gets into my car and I have approximately 50 empty coffee cups
having ~40 selfies in a row on my camera reel
when I post something with a “leave xyz in the comments” and no-one does
when I have full availability for readings for weeks
when I procrastinate taking out my compost and end up with 3 weeks worth to take out all at once
when I say hi to a dog and it shuns me or isn’t excited to get a pat from me
asking where the bathroom is in a new place only to realize it was painfully obvious and there were signs everywhere
when I put on a really good outfit but then don’t actually want to be perceived in public even though I know I’m “asking” for that perception
forgetting someones name even though I’ve asked ~5 times
identifying as bisexual with minimal sexual experiences outside of male identifying folks
ordering something in french and then they start talking to me in english because my french isn’t great
when my sneakers are really dirty
after smoking weed and being really paranoid about smelling like weed
Okay, so the point of this exercise is just to realize sometimes the things we are insecure or ashamed about are really silly, but the more we put energy into hiding them the more we become convinced that there is a reason we should hide them. We end up removing the humanity not only from our experience, but those we interact with because often what we are ashamed about comes from feeling we lack the ability to reach perfection in things that should be obvious or easy. Here’s the thing - for literally anything on this list, I wouldn’t even think twice if someone else displayed/expressed/acted out these things. I would find it endearing and perhaps even humanizing. Some of these things do bring me great pleasure - like a good big laugh and eating 4 hotdogs from IKEA and taking selfies. Some of them are totally neutral and don’t actually matter, some of them are because of the standards and values imposed upon me as a woman, some of them are what I perceive I need to be in order to be good enough.
Phase 2 - Reframing
So with this list, lets re-write some of the stories around it. Maybe you want to pick a few things off the list, maybe you want to go through the entire thing, I’ll leave that up to you. The goal here is to find neutrality if we can’t find positivity and to look at the list as if our bestie was writing it to us and we need to reassure them. Reframing doesn’t have to be about changing the way something feels for us, but it is about expanding the context of it and giving ourselves permission to engage with the power we have to take a different perspective. Something important about this step is reminding ourselves that while what we feel can be powerful informants, that our feelings about something doesn’t equate to it being factual. Reframing is sort of like recycling, taking something and giving it a new life or purpose.
Some of my reframes:
I love watching romcoms because it feeds my inner child and I’m a romantic at heart
my love for hotdogs and mayonnaise are proof of my healing from eating disorders
my cackle laugh tells me I’m happy and joyful with my present company
anything to do with a car - YOU HAVE A CAR! That you bought and paid for! When you thought that might not ever be possible!!!
taking all the selfies means you were feeling yourself, you’re allowed to document that!
asking for directions instead of holding in your pee is a huge step in mastering your anxiety! Who cares if there are signs, you asked for what you needed!
when ordering in french, look at you go!!! You’re trying something that makes you feel so nervous!
dirty sneakers mean you were on many adventures! Pristine sneakers says nothing about your style, how you care for things, who you are as a person
Phase 3 - Releasing
Releasing Energy is such a thrown around term, it makes it seem like we’re calling our bestie who’s had our favourite hoodie for a month and asking for it back. The reality of it though is that release is a process. More than anything it is rewiring neurological pathways and belief systems - some of which have been ancestral and passed down for generations. This takes time! Neurological pathways aren’t just little ski slopes for our thoughts; it affects our entire being. What we think informs our brain and nervous system of what chemicals and hormones to produce for feeling, when we produce those chemicals our body starts to create hormone receptors to receive and digest them, and over time depending on how much or little we think and therefor feel something, our body starts to get used to and literally crave those chemicals. It’s why people get addicted to stress or the dopamine hit of tik-tok. So while our brain can time travel into the future and past, our body can’t. Releasing isn’t just about letting go of what doesn’t nourish us, but about actually having to change physiological components of our experience. To break that down when we start to allow ourselves to experience more pleasure than shame, we’ll create more pleasure oriented receptors. Our shame receptors might be like “what the fuck bitch I’m hungry!!!!” for a while, but eventually the energy used for those will be transferred over to what is needed.
All of this is to say that entering The Slut Era is something that will actually change the chemistry and composition of your body. There are some accessible, free, and studied ways that we can support this work in the body and mind to help you feel safe:
EFT or tapping - you can check out the youtube channel Tapping with Brad Yates for free tutorials
Breath Work - I love The Being Portal by MJ Renshaw for this but there are so many free breath work guides available on youtube or InsightTimer
Journalling - I’m a huge advocate of something called the Morning Pages, gleaned from The Artist’s Way; it’s an excellent way to get the bullshit out of your head and to start an evidence file for the patterns of thought and feeling that exist within you
Masturbating - mmm yep! You heard me right! this promotes a positive sense of connection with the self, releases happy chemicals, allows for relaxation and focus… the benefits are endless. Especially within the context of The Slut Era, this can also be so helpful for exploring what is pleasurable for you that might have been demonized
Gratitude List - whether its 3 things or 30, they’ve done numerous studies on the benefits of engaging with gratitude
Dancing - yes, yes, yes! Put on your favourite playlist and dance like no-one is watching. I like to do this in a space with no mirrors and lots of space so I can feel into the expression
Make Ugly Art - aka art without purpose aka art therapy. So much of the reclamation of the slut era is about removing perfectionism and performance from our actions; making ugly art is really about using art supplies for how it feels to make something. We go in with no intentions, no plan, and no judgement. Finger paint, use colours you wouldn’t normally, experiment with process and texture. Scribble! Cut! Rip! You can keep it, you can throw it out, maybe you want to start a blank journal with all your ugly art to get those feelings out without having to analyze them or dwell in them
Cold Showers - these can do soooo much, but overall what I want to touch on here is that they allow our nervous system to reset and can increase resiliency. This gives us a blank slate to work with and expands our capacity to hold discomfort which means we have more time and resources to understand and transform that comfort
So much of releasing is going to be an ongoing process. There is no one time fix all solution or a way to clear everything all at once. We will continue to experience things in life, we will continue to release things in life. I think having free, timely, accommodating tools for this is so important. We can’t all go to yoga everyday, we can’t all afford therapy, we can’t all access medication. That’s okay, there are still a lot of ways we can engage in self-healing systems of release. The slut in you wants to be wild and free, releasing practices help us remove the chains that burden us.
Phase 4 - Reclaiming
This is the fun part! To me anyway. Look, as much as The Slut Era can be taken as a joke (and I encourage you to hold space for that perspective) it also is bringing light to some topics, feelings, and realities that are intense af and do have a real impact on us. You can be in your Slut Era without having to consciously do this work. Your Slut Era can be about not taking yourself so seriously, about freedom, about play, about exploration. It can also be a fun way to make impactful changes in your life around confidence, pleasure, and expression. So regardless of if you follow the “phases” (which are literally something I just made up right now as I was writing this) choosing to claim your Slut Era is inevitably a reclamation. You do not need to do a single damn thing to reclaim your sexuality, your joy, your freedom, your expression. You’re allowed to just fucking do it. I’m writing this under a Virgo Moon so bear with my in my step-by-step process, okay?
Ultimately calling someone a slut was used to take power away from them. It was used to add arbitrary, church controlled values to natural actions, it was used to control, it was used to diminish. So Reclaiming is doing the opposite. Being a fucking slut is about owning what we like and who we are, it’s allowing ourselves to be kind of cringe, it’s bringing back tumblr era expressions and wearing whatever we want and liking what we like and learning how to express this in ways that feel authentic instead of contrived. It’s asking “what is it that turns me on to my own existence?” and allowing yourself to get hyped about the answers.
The Slut Era takes us away from the addiction of approval, of likes, of being temperate, of letting others perceptions be the benchmarks for our existence until who we are and what we love becomes untouchable by the opinions, fears, and limitations of others. Be extra, be cheesy, be romantic, love wearing uggs or monochromatic outfits or grocery store cake or making dances with your bestie or posting selfies every day or reciting every line of your favourite movie. Who cares if its niche or mainstream or chaotic or ugly or whatever. The Slut Era is allowing our too-much-ness to resource us; it gives us back energy. It gives us ways to connect authentically. It gives us fucking permission!
As a part of reclaiming, I want to make one more list. A Big Slutty List if you will, of things I find pleasure in. Of things that are irresistible to me. Of things that leave me satisfied upon indulgence or elated upon interaction with. This is my “I’m turned on by my life” list.
Big Slutty List
my morning coffee
cashmere - specifically thrifted cashmere
flirting with my barista crush
reading erotica
posting 100 things on my stories
oysters
kissing
a good pen - specifically muji pens
a journal with dotted pages - specifically leuchtrum1917
ultramarine blue & butter yellow
nag champa incense
pistachio ice cream
asking for someones big three
red wine
whole fat, all the salt foods
jammy eggs
a can of nestea
a long roadtrip by myself
a lake swim with no-one else around
a several page journal session
listening to my obsession song on repeat
dressing up just because I feel like it
crisp, white linen sheets
my skincare routine
going for my weekly grocery shop walk
eating leftover take-out in a bubble bath
watching a rom-com I’ve seen 29308085 times
wearing my favourite grey sweatsuit
baking things I have no intention of eating
parking in places I technically shouldn’t and seeing if I get a ticket
pointing out every single angel number I see when I’m with someone
lamps and soft lighting
having my house warm enough to wear shorts in the winter & cold enough to wear sweatpants in the summer
disco anything
vintage gold
walking around a used bookstore with a coffee for hours
buying books I have no real intention of reading
finding a patch of sun and laying with it on my belly like a cat
a fresh pair of white socks
cold orange juice after orgasm
birkenstocks with socks
holding hands with my besties
saying “i love you” first
whispering naughty things in a lovers ear in public places
an old fashioned with a cherry
lighting all the candles in my house
smoking a joint in my underwear on the back porch
smoking a joint in bed with the window open
getting a piggy back ride while a little drunk
taking pictures of the moon
skinny dipping
having deep emotional and intimate connections before sex
texting whatever I want whenever I want