How to Break-Up; Everything Is An Altar to Yourself & Who You Want To Be
In no particular order, absolutely incomplete and always growing.
reclaim the scents; burn the candle that smells like their return from france. buy a new perfume.
imbue you own pattern on shared things and places
recreate their favourite meals for yourself and others (many people love this, now)
say whatever you want every once in a while
find an album. repeat it.
let people take care of you
be unhinged and secretive. IRL & URL
a lot of baths. maybe one with them. hold each other and breath together. add a lot of salt. always by candle.
don’t deny yourself; your process, break-up sex, crying, fantasizing, asking everything you used to be scared to know, sending photos and memories to them, non-sexual touch, phone calls, confessions
keep something or many or a few. use them, love them.
reflect on things they have taught you, that you have taught them, that you have learned together.
don’t let anyone else’s feelings or perspectives change your process, your ability to listen inwards
do new things for yourself
clean your sheets
buy their favourite snack and offer it at an altar for peace, ease, and release
don’t let whatever was hard or misaligned define the story
keep the letters on the fridge
keep your promises to yourself
allow your boundaries to be flexible
stay in the present moment as much as possible
let yourself feel differently than you want to, let thoughts and feelings and desires be incongruous
laugh
spend some time in bed
shower every day, take impeccable even if basic care of yourself
let yourself have room for indulgence
trust you won’t take it too far past indulgence
be only a glutton for love, none of its companions
do not compare, do not lose joy for those around you
think about their hands and eventually you will naturally want to think about them less
resisting any linear notions
find forgiveness for yourself and them every day
feel no pressure to be over it, under it, beside it or behind it. be wherever you are
don’t be a fucking masochist, okay?
be sooo so so so gentle with yourself, it will naturally turn into toughness
do not cancel all future plans all at once
allow things to be for the plot - if your own personhood as well
allow things to still hold beauty