POV: I’m writing you a letter

Hello angel,

It’s been a while since I wrote. I think about it often but usually with a thought comes a wave of other thoughts and I seem to lose that first edge quickly - spinning off and getting pulled into the current of ideation.

But today I found a foothold and was able to prop myself up onto it and ride it into action. I’m sitting on the balcony with my coffee - it was a perfect pour, I’ll send a photo along for reference - after a morning of cleaning. My bathroom is finally finished it’s renovation just in time for me to get my period. And the coffee is just hot enough and it is almost a little too cool to be sitting on the balcony but I’m wearing spring layers and I have my favourite slippers on which are also my only slippers and I was thinking of you.

Lately I’ve been in love with this thought and I wanted to share it with you; if we become, on a cellular level, that which we consume, then when we share meals together or memories together or music together we in some way have the same stuff to become ourselves and if we do enough of this together we start to become made of the same materials and although we are building entirely different things I found this to be quite beautiful and charming and the thought of us having dinner together or sharing a snack becomes doubly appealing.

The birds are back and the trees are budding and there are chives in the garden popping up and I am sneezing endlessly right now but it’s kind of delightful and almost silly. This weekend was a delightful taste of summer and this week is true April with its rains and crocuses pushing through.

Remember my crazy neighbour upstairs? The one who cut my porch lights? Well my lover fixed them, and then the next morning there was a ziploc bag with dead mice pinned to the front stairwell the apartment shares with a note about infestation. I later found out through the handyman while he was finishing my bathroom that he leaves food on his balcony for the mice and squirrels to trap them. But I have a security camera now so all I worry about back here is the squirrels eating the strawberries and tomatoes I intend to grow.

I can hear the children in the school yard across the street, manic sounding. It makes the red iron of my little bistro table that much more prominent and I am reminding myself through you of my intention to paint it buttery yellow.

I’m in no rush these days. I do not need the blooms to move faster, nor do I need the green to be greener or the days to be hotter - they are inevitable as all things are. I am finding myself waking earlier and having more time to luxuriate in bed without losing the meat of the day. I am wearing pieces of my wardrobe that I have sorely missed and were calling me for quite some time. I’m collecting all the wine bottles for taper candles outside. I’m writing all the time, sometimes it is good and sometimes it is okay and sometimes it is nothing at all and I love all of it.

I am thinking of you often and fondly. I am loving you greatly. And do not worry if you take some time to respond or do not at all, I think it is lovely to just send it out without expectations and know it is received the way it needs to. But if you do find yourself itching to be read, perhaps leave your letter in the comments below.

All my love, all my gratitude,

Fo