Mars in Libra

But I want to like what you like

Not to keep the peace but to understand you more closely

What is it about the beer or this city or what makes a certain hat good? Do you put your tongue in my ear because you really like that or because I’ve indicated that I do? Please ask me the right questions and I’ll tell you the answer, please show me your tenderness so I know how to get the rawness right, please please please build a life with me and don’t look down upon me for wanting to lick, just a small bit, everything you like to put in your mouth even to confirm that it isn’t for me but to better understand why it is for you.

This is my true north, the node in my being that keeps me reaching for the safety in surrendering to another. Not acquiescing, not giving in or up or down or anyway. Not a giving at all but a taking back the truth of what is really mine even if it seems to belong to another; it’s not that I cannot choose for myself but that there is simply so much to know and I must have a sample of all the options, narrow it down, cycle it back.

I am motivated by the beauty of taking my time, of giving my all, of the messy in between that let’s you know the fullness behind the curation because I am full to the brim with ideas about values and notions about rightness and wrongness which means nothing in the emptiness of experience. Please, please, please tell me what you love and what you ache for and what keeps you up in the night heart pounding about loosing it so you never really attain it because the yearning is so much safer than the maintaining.

I am created to be malleable in love. I am created to explore all side of the spectrum before falling to the middle. I am made for the harshness and the softness, the exquisite and mundane, for the you and the me.

I ask of you to be the mirror that takes the first glance into the other. I ask you to reflect the light back into the rooms we reside in. I ask you to surrender to me and see the million layers that exist on each side of us and tell me where it feels safe to start.

Maybe some will think I am weak; but is the greatest bravery not to trust the heart the is shared not just kept? Is it not bravery to admit even one small thing; that I need to know your favourite colour? That I have a need at all? That it involves another? That I was born this way and simply cannot stop? Or even worse, you may think, that I really do not want to. That I am perfectly content knowing that what I want to do the most is to love you the best.