But Actually

I actually did that

I didn’t post about it

Or have a picture

Because I was doing it

But I actually did it and there is space here within me to hold that and the smell of it and the look of it and the feel of it all exist within me perfectly and privately and I actually did all that living and choosing and leaving and doing to just get to where there is what you know about my morning coffee or nestea obsession

I actually lived my life and my therapist told me that I was grounded in action accordance to my values which is basically someone saying “I’m proud of you”. Or that’s what I said to myself after she said that to me because I deserve to be proud of the life I’ve actually lived and so I am. So I allow myself to be. And as such this is how I allow myself to go on, no external evidence of all except for my life. My actual life.